Crows on the Fence
by zevgirl
Summary: Penniless in Denerim, unable to leave for Haven to get to the Urn of Sacred Ashes. What's a Warden and her assassin to do? Written for the Secret Santa exchange on CMDA.


_**A/N: **Written for the Secret Santa fic exchange on CMDA for **Zute**! Enjoy!_

* * *

><p><strong>Crows on the Fence<strong>

"What do you think is in those chests they hover over every day?"

"Probably funny hats and penis-shaped objects." When Amelia rolled her eyes, Zevran astutely reconsidered. "Your sense of humor is back at camp, I see." A finger tapped at his chin. "Expensive weapons, some poisons, piles of coin, and maybe even a contract or two. Typical Crow effects."

"And are the goods worth more than 50 sovereigns?"

Curious question, he thought. Didn't they have enough coin to move on to Haven and search for the Urn of Sacred Ashes? "Likely. I expect Cesar and Ignacio are the wealthiest traders here."

Her eyes lit up, glittering like emeralds. "Concentrated poison recipes, potent runes and such?"

"Certainly. Illicit items we cannot typically find in Denerim."

"Interesting." She twisted a curl of flaxen hair around her finger. "I have a brilliant idea."

_La mia bella amante pazzo_. His lips had grimaced before a half-smile emerged. "What is going through that excessively devious head of yours?"

Her squared shoulders lifted in a careless shrug. "They are good-looking, aren't they? I do so love men with sexy accents."

"Truly? You think them more handsome than…." No, no, jealousy wouldn't do at all. He was, after all, far from jealous. "I know, it is Cesar's beard, isn't it?"

Amelia eyed the Crows from her vantage point near the Tavern while wearing a scandalous grin. "The beard certainly doesn't hurt. I imagine it tickles in all the right ways."

"Just say the word and I will grow a beard to rival Oghren's if you wish it."

"And cover your pretty face? Never!" She spun on her heels and gave him a long, passionate, kiss. "They're too serious, not at all as frisky as you, nor as handsome and dashing."

"Do not try to seduce me with honeyed words when you're hatching a ridiculous plan." If there was one thing he learned in his travels with his somewhat impulsive lover, it was not to fall for her crazy plans, especially when there was money at stake.

"They offered _us_ the contract. I'll meet them at the Tavern and, you know, take care of things. I can best a Crow and their supposedly exceptional subterfuge any day."

A low blow alluding to his failure the day they met. _Such a minx_. "I am the master infiltrator amongst our merry band, and you, my dear, are but a copycat."

"Pfft. Stop bragging and hear me out."

She flicked his ear and blew a raspberry, at which point he glared at her for the briefest of moments before softening his expression. She was so damnably stubborn that no amount of rational talk would change her mind once a strategy was calculated.

"All right, enlighten me."

"Only a key will open the chests, and the keys are, no doubt, on them. We can dispose of their bodies easily enough. Call in a few favors."

"Cara, we _cannot_ openly kill them. They have two body guards in plain clothes keeping watch. Besides, we are not so low on coin as to risk the ire of the Crows any more than we already have, or am I misinformed?"

"We need the coin." She looked away, staring at the chests frustratingly within her reach. "I didn't want to tell you but… I should never have let Alistair give that sister, or whatever she is, any money. Now we barely have enough for provisions. We'll be stuck in Denerim doing mercenary work for weeks unless we come up with another option."

"Have I not told you to harden your heart to such sentiment? Bah!" Crestfallen, her shoulders dropped. "Forgive me, Amelia. Your selflessness is but one quality that drew me to you. But the Crows? This is beyond risky. Forget whatever thrill-seeking ideas you fancy at the moment."

"Where has your sense of adventure gone?"

"My desire to keep breathing supersedes any folly I may have participated in months ago."

Her disappointment was obvious, but she covered it quickly. "I'll take care of this myself then. I can meet you back at camp if you like."

Not a chance he'd let her go alone. He ran the idea through his head step by step. Even if she could seduce them with promises of more than just a business meeting, they would be on guard, ready to slit her throat the second her mask fell. And her mask fell pretty quickly during a simple card game. However, if he could convince some of their companions to help out, they _might_ be able to pull it off. But who would agree to such a foolish thing? Certainly not the Chantry boy. Ohgren would, but no amount of instruction would keep his mouth and weapon from unsheathing at the worst possible moment.

Leliana though… Amelia was not very fond of her on a good day. But perhaps she was longing for some excitement. Morrigan often favored impossible odds as well.

"All right. After all, we are ridiculously awesome, though Ignacio is a Master within the organization."

"You could be a Master too, and you know it," she said, all the immodesty and honesty when it came to his skills. "This will be easy."

Where her confidence came from, he never knew, as almost every time she'd laid out a plan of attack, there were gaping holes in the strategy. The poor planning didn't always matter because she was a force to reckon with as a fighter, her fury unleashed with spinning blades and evasive maneuvers. All of their companions fought with an unbridled ferocity.

"The last time you said that we found ourselves battered and naked in Dust Town. And the time before that, we had to nurse ourselves back to health in the middle of the Brecilian Forest."

"Don't exaggerate." She sighed, her face scrunching up in a fretful frown. "Well, we weren't naked anyway."

The disappointed expression she wore was more than he could bear. He had to be all in on this adventure. "Okay, so we are destitute and desperate and must resort to some very uninspired efforts. What do you propose?"

"I seduce them into thinking a glass of wine and some discussion would be lovely foreplay, and then I get them all hot, take the keys, slit their throats, take the loot, dump the bodies. You know, the usual. But maybe not in that exact order."

"Is that all? Forgive me if I contain my exuberance."

"Come on. This is nothing compared to Orzammar."

"Except in Orzammar we had the protection of half of the inhabitants. Here, no one cares if we end up in the gutter. In fact, I suspect some would pleasure in putting us there."

"It's because they're Crows, I get it. But you know I wouldn't let them take you. Or worse." She took his hand in hers, her convictions running deep, every word a promise, as unnerving as it was. "I'd die first."

"And that is precisely what I worry over." Odd to think their relationship had taken them to this point, each willing to die for the other. He glided his thumb over her cheek. "These risks you take… you are aging me beyond my years."

Her love for him was evident in her smile, in the way she held him in a firm embrace. "We sometimes share more than we realize, whether it's on the road or in a tent. If you never spoke to me again, I'd still know what I mean to you. "

"You are quite smart, my dear, and that intelligence works both ways." In another life, he'd call himself weak and soft for what he was about to say. "Cara, if the worst should come to pass, know that I am your man, always." He thought of the day she'd said she loved him for that—for his fierceness and loyalty— and it took him months to believe it. It changed him in ways he still couldn't comprehend. What he did understand was that he could no longer picture his life without her in it. "Amelia, we need not live on the edge every day."

She chuckled at his discomfort. "I know you love me and if you ever give me up, I'll know it's not because you have stopped caring but because you want to be free from the past to live in the future. For us. I could never fault you for being a forward thinker."

He hesitated for only a moment before returning the embrace. "I am willing either way."

"This _will_ be easy," she said, not really hearing his support.

"As you wish, amora. I am all in."

It hit her then, judging by the wide eyes staring at him. "You are?" she said in a hushed voice. She took him by the hand and dragged him to a wall, where she kissed him with more passion than she had earlier. The scent of rose hips in her hair was so fragrant he didn't want to stop kissing her, but she pulled away first. "You don't know how happy this makes me. But… I need to go speak with them, to set up the meeting tonight. You may not want to watch."

"Please, I am not some lovesick youth. I will revel in your mischief and seduction techniques. Maybe even give you a few pointers after you're done."

"Of course you will. But don't say I didn't warn you." She laughed and ruffled his hair before taking off toward the merchant's circle.

He peered around the wall and watched as she sauntered up to Cesar and Ignacio, her hips swaying, hair falling about her shoulders in a cascade of golden waves. Cesar was enthralled by her whispers and sultry gazes. Ignacio, not so much. Zevran knew he'd be the tougher of the two, the more skeptical. Amelia leaned into Ignacio, placing her hand on his shoulder and then trailing it down to squeeze his hand.

"So amateurish, my Warden. Though…." Oddly enough, Ignacio seemed to have a smile on his face, a duplicitous one, no doubt. Several minutes of flirting and teasing went by, and Zevran cursed the quickened beat of his heart.

When Amelia bounded back, she was a picture of pride and cockiness. "It seems they heard some of the racy rumors about me, spread by yours truly earlier today. They are positively smitten with me!"

"I'm sure," he said with a sneer.

As she hugged him, an uneasy feeling settled in his gut. His dear Warden was truly the most optimistic person he'd ever known, but too often she was blind to the darker side of people. He swore an oath to protect her and by the Maker, he would, but the oath was only a small part of his protectiveness toward her. He would amend her plan, unbeknownst to her, but the hard part would be the deception. A trickle of guilt tapped at the back of his mind. Her kind and caring ways had chipped away at his hardened heart and created a foolish man, much like the Chantry boy. Now he understood why all the women fussed over Alistair.

"Let's head back to camp, maybe take a short break before we come back." He waggled his brows. "Burning a little energy will keep us more focused."

"What do you have in mind?"

"I suggest a dip in the hot springs near camp, naked of course. And then I'll give you a special Antivan massage, complete with a happy ending."

"Ooh, I like where this is going," she said as they headed up the hill.

"I will carry you back to camp afterward and lay you at Alistair's feet, where he will feed you grapes and cheese while I prepare a romantic setting in our tent, complete with candles and incense."

"You're so full of it, Arainai."

"Just play along. It will make the trip back that much quicker."

He took her hand as they walked, making her giggle with outlandish ways to embarrass Alistair the next time they caught him bathing.

* * *

><p>"Morrigan, are you of a mind for a caper? One that will get out us of this Maker forsaken city sooner rather than later?"<p>

She didn't spare him a glance as she labored over some potion simmering on the fire. "Speak plainly, assassin."

"Tsk, tsk. So grouchy."

Slowly, she raised her head and glared. "I've no patience for your glib tongue tonight."

"Fine. Our dear Warden has a plan to seduce two Crows and steal all their earthly belongings. All I need from you is a potion, something that will make them more pliable and interested in what Amelia has to offer them. I don't want her to know of your involvement. Just know that you will be paid well."

"I care not for money." She fixed him with another glower. "I do have a counteroffer though," she said. "Convince her to go to my mother's hut and kill her. And of course, bring mother's grimoire back to me."

"Ah yes, Amelia was very much against killing Flemeth."

"She faces death every day and I can guarantee her life with that grimoire. One favor for another."

"The danger is what keeps Amelia away from The Wilds."

"It will benefit you both in the future, more than you can imagine." Morrigan conjured a crow in her palm. A vision of Amelia asleep appeared next to it, and then the crow proceeded to peck her eye out. "Life and death often walk side by side."

An icy shiver ran down Zevran's spine. "Is this prophetic or just another one of your ploys?"

"Neither. But I think I have made my point, yes?"

"Yes." Zevran's hands burned to throttle the witch. Too bad they needed her help right through to the Landsmeet.

"Amelia and I have become closer these last months. I only wish the best for her."

_As long as it serves your purposes._ He smiled roguishly and offered his hand to shake. "We have a deal."

Morrigan went back to her bubbling concoction as Zevran headed toward the Bard. She'd be a much more willing participant.

"Leliana, do you have any interest in a small yet exciting role in our Warden's latest scheme?"

"You are aware that Amelia doesn't care for me?"

"I am. Part of our bargain will be your utter silence on the matter. All I need is someone to keep a bird's eye view for a short time. You may have to take out a Crow guard or two as well."

"Is that all? Are you ensuring _your_ safety or do you have some other goal?"

Time to feed Leliana a juicy secret. "The truth is," he whispered, "we are broke and need the coin so we can head to Haven, to the Urn you speak so much about."

"Well, that is more than enough reason for me to aid you." She put her hand on his shoulder, squeezing just enough to make her point. "And in return, you are to convince her to take me to the Temple of Sacred Ashes."

An eyebrow rose. "Amelia did say she wanted you to stay here, concerned about your 'obsessive religious beliefs.'"

"She has no idea what she is tampering with and won't know what to do with it." Leliana fiddled with the Andrastian medal around her neck. "Guarantee my company to Haven and I'll help you tonight."

"Agreed." Leliana beamed, humming a tune as Zevran stepped toward Amelia's tent. _Success! _

"Are you almost ready to leave, amora?"

"What happened to that tension reducing activity you promised me?"

"I think we should wait until after the deed is done. We can rent a room and then relax in the lap of luxury for a night."

"That does sound better. No companions, no crappy food, no night watch."

"I'll meet you by the path after I gather my gear." Zevran bestowed her with a kiss meant to show what he couldn't say, his every emotion—desire and tenderness, frustration and past pain. Judging by her sweet smile, she understood.

"I'm so excited we're doing this, Zev!"

"Yes, it will be… bracing, I'm sure." With that, he slipped out and walked toward his co-conspirators warming themselves by the fire.

* * *

><p>Amelia and Zevran stood behind the tavern waiting for nightfall to blanket the city in shadows. "And what will be the signal for my grand entrance?"<p>

"Oh, you'll know it when you see it. Or hear it."

"Ah, so you are being cryptic." He looked at the rooftop and spotted Leliana's pink scarf waving in the breeze. "Know that if I don't like how it's going, I will intervene."

"Yeah, yeah," she scoffed. "Okay, I'm going in. Wish me luck!"

"Be careful, Amelia. I… need you to keep your wits about you." He steadied his hand, wanting to caress her face. Reaching into his pack, he gave her the tainted wine. "Here is an excellent bottle of Antivan Red to loosen them up. I would recommend not having any or your tongue may relax more than usual."

"Are you saying I'm a blabbermouth? Because if that's what you're insinuating, I'll remind you of who talked my ear off the day we met."

He chuckled. "Yes, well, I never said you should take lessons from me on how to escape death by chatting it up with your captor. Pretend to sip if you must."

"Will do." She adjusted her boot knife. "I'll lay my daggers down and hopefully they won't frisk me for more."

"Remember how I showed you how to snap a neck with the twist of your legs." He was getting nervous now, though she was immeasurably resilient in the thick of it. He had to remind himself that Leliana would be spying through the window as well. "And I taught you the chest punch to render your target helpless."

"You worry like an old fishwife, Zev. Now, let me go or this will all be for nothing."

Reluctantly, he released her, stepping backward with a melancholy gaze as she tucked her hair behind her ears and sprinted away.

"She seems perfectly confident tonight," Leliana said, appearing behind him.

"Yes. Let her take care of them as long as possible."

"You know, Zevran, it would be better to let her have these successes on her own. She's quite capable of an adventure with or without your guidance. You should tell her the truth."

"Thank you for your opinion, my dear." Was she serious? Does she not remember all the plans gone awry over the last few months? "We shall see what the night brings."

"I do think this is all very romantic and chivalrous on your part."

"Perhaps," he said quietly.

Leliana only raised a brow at his admission. "And where will you be?"

"Where they least expect it."

* * *

><p>"You are as enticing as a moon goddess, Amelia."<p>

"How sweet you are, Cesar. Here, have another glass," Amelia said as she poured. "And you, Ignacio?"

"No, thank you. I am not fond of this particular year. Neither are you, it seems." _Shit_. Now, she had to drink some, his suspicion on high alert, especially since Cesar was getting more and more forward with her.

She removed the pauldrons from her armor and shrugged off the leather top, leaving her in a low cut undershirt. "I'm feeling rather hot," she said, fanning herself with the Crow orders Ignacio gave her. She reached for her glass and took a tiny sip. "Mmm, very fine wine, I think."

Motionless on a chair, she moved to sit on Ignacio's lap, playing with the lapels of his shirt as she put her lips to his ear. "Tell me, Master Ignacio, what do you expect will happen with the three of us tonight?"

"Nothing with the _three_ of us. You two, however… I expect an arousing show, no?"

"Ah, so you like to watch then? I can appreciate that," she said, sauntering over to Cesar and running her finger down his cheek to fiddle with his beard. "I've fantasized about your beard, you know. I just love the feel of it on my skin," she said, gently rubbing her cheek against his chin.

"You will not be disappointed with me _or_ my beard."

"I can't wait," she said, unbuttoning his shirt. Cesar's eyes were glassy from drink and arousal, his posture relaxed and open. Perfect for an easy kill. Ignacio sat, stiff and alert, far too wary for her liking, but there wasn't much she could do about it either. She'd have to take him out first and hope that Cesar would be slow. Glancing at Ignacio, she motioned toward the bed and took Cesar's hand. "We're going to continue this over there. You should reposition your chair for a better view."

Ignacio nodded, appreciative of her suggestion, and pushed the chair toward the foot of the bed.

It was now or never. With a quick swipe of her foot, she took Ignacio out, sending him to the floor with a thud. Pulling the boot knife out, she jumped and landed atop him, her blade sinking into his throat.

Just as he gurgled his last breath, Cesar grabbed her from behind and threw her to the floor, straddling her with a twisted smile and pinning her arms with his knees. He was far heavier than he looked too. This would be a challenge.

"Thank you for doing what I could not," he said. "It should easy for me to take over his business now."

"Are you kidding me?" she said. "I would have gladly done it for a fee."

"Do not take me for a fool just because I let you tease me earlier. And if I may ask before I kill you, what was the potion you slipped into the wine? I expected such simplistic tactics and drank a rejuvenating potion earlier."

A look of surprise crossed her face, followed by a look of concern, "Potion? I didn't put anything in the wine."

"Perhaps your accomplice did. Someone did," he said, then placed the tip of a dagger at her throat. "No matter. Say your final prayer to the Maker, Warden. It's been a-"

Cesar's head flew clean off his shoulders as Zevran's blades crossed and sliced.

"And that, my dear, is how it is done."

The body slumped sideways, and Amelia pushed him off, then stood to meet Zevran's gaze.

"If you'd given me another minute I would have killed him myself. You're so impatient!"

"Call it what you like, but I was not about to watch… whatever would have happened." Pulling a cloth from his pack, he wiped some blood off her face.

"Where were you?" she asked. "In a closet or something?"

"Under the bed, actually."

"Really? How did you…?"

He shrugged. "Later. To more important matters first. Slim will take care of the cleanup and the disposal. I procured him a horse and cart to take the bodies to a little traveled area with a deep lake."

"Nice," she said, nodding.

"Let's not forget those keys." Zevran snatched the small ring of keys from Ignacio's belt and shook them. "Ah, like sweet music to my ears."

"We will have to wait a few hours before cleaning out the chests. But take a look at what was in his pocket, Zev." She showed him ten gold sovereigns. "I'm going to buy some presents for our friends!"

"Seriously? We kill two Crows and all you can think about is buying gifts?"

"I'll get you something too, don't worry."

"That is not the point, Amelia." He sighed, accepting he could not change the altruism, a part of what made her the infuriating woman she was. "Slim is outside the window, ready to move. Let's go clean up in our room."

As Zevran opened the window for Slim, Amelia skipped out the door. "Which room, Zev?"

"Two doors down, on the left."

"Quite a mess," Slim said, surveying the scene. "This might require a bit more coin, you know."

"Here, take another sovereign. And thanks for your help, Slim," he said, feeling absurdly calm about the whole affair.

After a quick bath, they hid in the shadows of the market place, and when the city fell silent, they put everything in the chests into two large sacks. Amelia dumped it all on the floor and sorted it by value back in their room, her face lit with an ecstatic energy.

"I can't believe how much coin there is! And these weapons and runes!"

"Yes, we are quite well off now."

"I know _exactly_ what I'm buying for everyone tomorrow. A wheel of cheese bigger than a nug for Alistair, a sack of cookies for Sten, bottles of swill Oghren would love, oh and that Anthology of Circle Pranks and Gags for Wynne," she prattled on. "Definitely a pair of fancy shoes and some silky unmentionables for Leliana, maybe an enchanted silver brooch for Morrigan or some herbs, and the biggest bronto bone available for Felix Thunder Paws."

"You don't think that's too much?"

"Morale, Zev. It's very important." She tossed him a potent rune for his dagger.

He glanced at her as she reveled in the booty. "The thought of sharing you with those two was not a pleasant one. My ears were burning at times."

"Aww, that's sweet, Zev." She leaned in and nipped at his ear, then swirled her tongue around before kissing him. "Let's spread all the coin on the floor and roll around on it. No clothes." She blushed as she spoke, clearly feeling more brazen than usual.

"And then we will make passionate love," he said, pulling her shirt off, and then his. "On the _bed_."

She ran her hands across his shoulders, trailing kisses along his neck. "I hope you didn't promise Leliana anything too ridiculous for taking out Ignacio's guards," she said, brows raised high.

Caught. He took in a cleansing breath. "I should know better than to ask for a simple promise of silence."

"She didn't tell me. Didn't you think I'd see her scarf on the roof? You don't give me enough credit, Zev."

"True, that." A slight flush rushed to his cheeks. "Forgive me, amora."

"So I suppose she wants to go to Haven. Keeping everyone at arm's length allows me these mutually beneficial decisions when I need them," she said with a sly wink.

"My other confession is that it was I who poisoned the wine with a potion I got from Morrigan."

"And I suppose she wants me to kill Flemeth, too." She spoke so plainly, so nonchalantly, he felt an utter fool for having misjudged her at all.

"Yes. I'm sorry for such deceit, but I could not, and will _never_, cease from protecting you by any means I deem necessary. Next time, though, I will be honest about it."

"_Next time_ we just kill them flat out, no plans. And I'm not angry with you," she said, playfully poking his chest. "I understand how you feel about protecting me because I feel the same about you." She pulled at the waistband of his trousers. "Now get these off so the party can begin!"

Once naked they did not make love right away. Zevran explored her body by touch, with his fingers and lips and tongue, his evening stubble rubbing against her sensitive spots. She was by no means passive, flipping him over and grabbing and squeezing until they were both ready for more. Zevran rolled her onto her back again, hovering above her, pressing into her as she mewled with delight.

"My beautiful Warden, how I love those little noises you make when we're together like this." His heart was full with a happiness unlike any he'd known. He captured her lips, writhing against her, impatient to join with her, to love her. "Amelia, I want to make love to you."

"I feel a coin going up my-"

"Ah, cara, these trivial statements in the throes of passion are a bit… deflating, if you catch my meaning. Please stop speaking now." He scooped her off the floor and tossed her onto the bed, much to her amusement.

"I love you," she said. "You don't mind if I say that, do you?"

"Not at all." Nor would he ever mind. Love, for all its trappings, was never quite as sweet as when she announced her love for him.

She held his face, her eyes warm and adoring. "Guess what gift I'm going to get you?"

"I've already had my gift for months. I've no need for anything more."

For a dizzying moment, he kissed her as if he meant to consume her, and then broke off the kiss as abruptly as he'd begun it, drawing back just far enough to stare into her eyes.

"Ti amo, Amelia. Always."


End file.
